OMGoodness.
FML.
*Notice the font has gone from bright blue to a deep, wilting flower purple (That matches the color of Kiss Of Life) to reflect my crappy mood.*
I felt like crap.
And then I went to the store. Where there's a meat market. Where a particularly cute guy works. Who I've been waiting to talk to forever. Named David.
And I talked to him. And my MOM was there.
And it was my fault.
And I acted like a total idiot!
Mom: *Points to pickled pork skins* Those are those pickled pork skins!
Me: Ewwwwww *shudders cutely for David*
Mom: Grandpa used to buy those.
Me: AND EAT them?! *this is real disgust, folks*
Mom: YES.
David: Did you want to try them?
Me: NO, thankyou. *cute grossed out face*
David chuckles.
Me: You've gotta have guts to down those, I think.... Have you ever tried them?
David: Nah, I'm a really picky eater, so I don't eat stuff like that. I'm like really picky so all my food costs a lot.
Mom: Yeah, like lobster?
Him: Yeah, and like filet mingnon and stuff, but mostly I like red meat.
Me: ME TOO! *yum*
Mom: *rolls eyes*
Me: It's good for your SOUL~
Him: Yeah, I mena like last night I made myself some steak and homemade mashed potatoes.
Me is awed.
AND THIS IS WHERE I START TO HATE ME.
Me: Maybe you cna come over and make *me* dinner. FAKE HAHAS. I can bring soda.
I CAN BRING SODA??????????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
*bangs head against Horton who is talking to Whos.*
SODA?!!?!
I'M SO STUPID!
I sold out and acted like a stupid girl- in front of my mother, no less, who will tell everyone what a STOOPID girl I am.
MY SHAME IS NEVER-ENDING.
...
And I just... I don't know... I'm all out of whack again and I don't know why and I keep having these weird... mood swing things... and Ivan tried to talk to me and I got all freaked out and weird and I don't even know why.
I just really hate it.
And I felt all alone today and I don't even know how.
And I feel like crap.
And I just want to dream about Sweets again so I can feel better again.
.... I don't want want to make it, I just want...
... I don't know what I want.
Acting like an idiot in front of a guy is not the end of the world and to be honest what you did wasn't so bad. Hey, maybe he'll love you for it! (Worked for me!) Try to think happy thoughts! Although i know it's hard when you're feeling crappy. I hope you will be OK.
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