July 3, 2009
1:00 PM- Civil Rights Class
Though it would be wise for me to work on my next assignment, a mock bill due tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM, I feel that I’ve done all that I could at the moment. Being in another class, I’ve decided to catch up on my blog-writing.
I had thought it was impossible for a while, but I feel that I’m finally getting used to my tight, hypnophobic schedule. It seems that once you remember that there’s an hour break after most everything you do, the day just gets that much better. Today, however, breaks have morphed into mini cramming sessions as the entire JSA student body has a test coming up at three-thirty this afternoon. IN addition to the test, everyone is getting ready to force down large vats of black coffee to stay up until four in the morning working on mock bills related to everything from Healthcare reform to mandatory recycling. I myself am currently carefully constructing a plan that will get me to bed by eleven PM. I remain hopeful despite the odds.
At the moment, our Civil Rights Class is watching a documentary on the sit-ins during the segregation era. This is frightening, if not due to the horrors of segregation, than because of yesterdays showing of “The Little Rock Nine” produced two sobbing fellow students during our post-movie discussion.
One of the sorrowful sobbing students was actually my beloved dorm mate Melissa- don’t let the tears for the state of our nation fool you: she’s no crybaby. At 5’10” I’ve finally found a girl who towers over me. (In heels, she’s positively a skyscraper.) Mel’s a real sweetie and, sometimes, her animated facial expressions make me feel that she’s escaped from a cartoon. Misty, our other dorm mate, is another fast friend of mine; we met her with a large, white cowboy hat capping her fiery red head. I have to admit, I expected a “Howdy,” but it turns out she’s actually from So-Cal, like Melissa and me. Then there’s Noora, our dormie from Palestine. She’s one of the friendliest people that I’ve ever met and her accent seems to affect JSA boys in strange and peculiar ways. My other dorm mates are Chauna, Pearl (who is my musical and movie-going soul mate) and Octavia. Together we make up the incredible, the amazing and talented, the slightly out of sane, G31.
Love,
-Bianca
PS. East Coast weather is unpredictable and fickle as nothing I’ve ever before encountered. Last night it rained for exactly three and a half minutes. Before we could even come back from the restroom, the heavy water fall had ceased, as if the sky had needed to release a few drops and was sated before it saw the end of five minutes. This morning was insufferably hot and then about two hours ago, when the deep-sounding Yale bell tolled, water began to fall, stopping when the bells did. This kind of unpredictability really keeps one on their toes.
June 6, 2008
9:13 PM- In the courtyard in front of my dorm, on a bench, under a lamp post, waiting for my nightly floor meeting.
During my last few classes, some of which took up a consecutive four hours of my time), I carefully plotted out each point I wanted to make in the new blog I would write. This blog was to be an epic blog, highlighting my experiences of the past few days because, as everyone knows, the key to being boring is quite simply to say (or, in my case, write) everything. I had created valid points that threaded into my anecdotes morals as the Brother’s Grimm would have done and noted hilarious situations, choosing my words carefully so as to increase their hilarity factor. However, being an extremely forgetful person and too lazy to actually write my blogs on paper when my laptop, Dorian, was not available for use during class due to my loathing of re-typing, I simply forgot everything that I was going to write. I was quite annoyed with this until I realized that it wasn’t me, the author of this blog, who should be annoyed, but you, my audience. You are the ones that have lost a great, dare I say epic, blog, simply due to my extreme forgetfulness and lack of nerve to bring my computer into classes. For that I apologize, you must simply put up with this; my slightly above mediocre blog that I will make up as I go.
These past few days have been very eventful; Saturday was the Fourth of July, which warranted a JSA BBQ in the courtyard, getting out of classes early, and a dance in front of our cafeteria. I must admit that the greatest of all these things was getting out of our classes early. Our dance was filled to the brim with rap music and grinding. When I see- I won’t say ‘couples’ because, as I found out on Saturday night, people don’t dance in pairs of opposite genders anymore- people dance in large groups that rub pelvic areas together while hollering and lifting up skirts- as I was saying, when I see grinding being to happen around me, my legs act as their own vehicles and simply drag me away from the dance floor. Before my mind can even catch up to the fact that this is a scene from Brave New World or that I couldn’t possibly be expected to dance to this without losing something I’m only supposed to give up until after marriage, my legs sense danger first and take me to the sidelines, where I watch like the late animal observer whom we all knew and loved. I sat on the wall, noticing that the crowd bumping and pushing against each other like monkeys trying to get their backs scratched has absolutely no regard for personal space, they seem to need only about one sixth of the enormous dance floor and though they’ve only known each other for about a week, they seem to already be getting to know each other in the biblical sense of the word. Perched a good four feet above the panting crowd on my wall, I imagine that I am Steve, reincarnated;
“Look what we got here, folks, the laaayve teenager, performin’ their matin’ ceremony! See how they get reeaaaal close, as to share pheromones! This’ll halp in the actual conception layta on! Let’s take a closer look!”
It all turned out okay, though, when my dorm mate a dear new friend Misty and I walked home grumpily, only to return five minutes later to pick up Melissa, who had forgotten her key, in pajamas. We left pretending to river dance to a Scottish jig/ head-banging rock song. That was freeing.
Sunday was our first free day, where our boundaries were stretched (within the context of the physical boundaries we have of the school) and we had absolutely no classes or scheduled anything. Beautiful. Well, it was beautiful at first; Misty, Melissa and I went to a really nice little church down the road where we got mugged. Yes, mugged. The congregation, being miniscule (but strong in their tiny numbers) noticed some new faces and handed out mugs with their name emblazoned in gold across their fronts. See, mugged! (The church made that up, I had nothing to do with that advanced level of cleverness.)
Later Sunday, however, we finally crossed the dividing line, finally legal; that we had no idea existed, between fairy tale Yale with its ancient buildings and regal columns, to the Rite Aid and Popeye’s part of town where we were pan-handled by no less than three hobos, at least one of them high. After getting everything I positively needed at Rite Aid, I ran across the street, almost in tears of relief from arriving to safety- and was stopped by a man who asked me for fifty cents, to which I replied apologetically that, no, I did not have fifty cents- and landed in front of the Yale bookstore, clutching my chest and kissing the safe, beautiful, stuffy, Ivy-League ground for which I have never been more thankful.
Afterwards, that story would warp and twist as I re-told it to our RA, Laura, who abandoned us during floor meeting because it was her “day off,” leaving us in the incapable hands of another “camp counselor” (I can never remember what “RA” stands for, but they get mad if you call it “camp”), as is the Bianca Way (Tehe, Bianca Way… Gerard Way… Okay, never mind), to include fainting and a proclamation of “It was like Snow White goes to Compton!” After murmurings of disagreement and much laughter, it was declared that I shall henceforth be known as Snow White- a testament to the translation of my name and incapability of telling a straight story, or one without at least a minor exaggeration.
Today was slightly less eventful; we had our midterms which were very easy thanks to the fact that the loveable Dr. Bruce held a study session last night and handed every one of the ten questions to the few students who had decided to sow up. In addition to kicking this test’s butt, we shopped for purses, I refused to buy a six dollar Chapstick at the Yale bookstore, and we endured four straight hours of class. After this I am very, very tired and long for sleep despite my half-hour nap (with texting intervals, thanks to Christina <3) and cuddle with Don Quixote, whom I refer to quite simply as Lamb. (I miss you, nala! <3)
Once again may I state that miss each and every one of you terribly and I cannot wait to see everyone again, not that I want to leave Yale, but I do want to see everyone. :D
Love,
-Bianca
PS. Tomorrow my classmates and I will visit New York City, NYU and The UN headquarters, specifically, for a speaker’s day, where we will have to endure speeches of whom I hope to be interesting people. I’m mentally preparing myself for the possibility that they may not be interesting… Nevertheless, New York promises to be thrilling, the little bit of it we will be able to experience tomorrow, anyway. Wish me luck.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Yale Diaries Part Four
July 2, 2009
9:40 AM- Civil Rights Class
The past few days have been so tiring! Class is really fun and we have the most talkative and goofy teacher I’ve ever known- Dr. La Tosha Bruce, who punctuates her sentences by exclaiming “Ye-ah!” and who’s idea of an exclamatory phrase is “Oh, sugar!” Dr. Bruce is so amazing at what she does that, I kid you not, she received not less than two notes of adoration of her character written on her own chalkboard. The class is informative and everyone is encouraged to share their opinions and though we often get sidetracked on important subjects as the definition of pansexuality and the different types of weaves Beyonce wears, we’re always having fun- and, of course, learning.
So… Yale. (Hopefully I’ll have time to post pictures in this journal.) Yale is nothing like the college that I’m used to being on (Cal-Poly). First, this is not a campus. I don’t care what anyone calls it, this place is a town. Cars zoom past on the many streets, and buildings loom overhead, all of them looking like ancient cathedrals. It is possibly the oddest sensation ever when one walks into a three -hundred year old building, expecting only dust, to find elevators, computer equipment, and converse shoes.
As for our actual classrooms, our desks are creaky, wooden chairs with little, to-the-side half-desks that can barely support my notebook as I write this. Each of the desk’s surfaces are carved in with everything from initials enclosed in hearts to graduating years hovering beside the infamous Yale “Y” to bad messages concerning Harvard.
Love,
Bianca
PS. They are really mean to Harvard. They wrote PG-13 things… not nice.
9:40 AM- Civil Rights Class
The past few days have been so tiring! Class is really fun and we have the most talkative and goofy teacher I’ve ever known- Dr. La Tosha Bruce, who punctuates her sentences by exclaiming “Ye-ah!” and who’s idea of an exclamatory phrase is “Oh, sugar!” Dr. Bruce is so amazing at what she does that, I kid you not, she received not less than two notes of adoration of her character written on her own chalkboard. The class is informative and everyone is encouraged to share their opinions and though we often get sidetracked on important subjects as the definition of pansexuality and the different types of weaves Beyonce wears, we’re always having fun- and, of course, learning.
So… Yale. (Hopefully I’ll have time to post pictures in this journal.) Yale is nothing like the college that I’m used to being on (Cal-Poly). First, this is not a campus. I don’t care what anyone calls it, this place is a town. Cars zoom past on the many streets, and buildings loom overhead, all of them looking like ancient cathedrals. It is possibly the oddest sensation ever when one walks into a three -hundred year old building, expecting only dust, to find elevators, computer equipment, and converse shoes.
As for our actual classrooms, our desks are creaky, wooden chairs with little, to-the-side half-desks that can barely support my notebook as I write this. Each of the desk’s surfaces are carved in with everything from initials enclosed in hearts to graduating years hovering beside the infamous Yale “Y” to bad messages concerning Harvard.
Love,
Bianca
PS. They are really mean to Harvard. They wrote PG-13 things… not nice.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Yale Diaries Part Three
June 30, 2008
9:15 PM-ish- JSA class, listening to two minute speeches, including the one that I just made (and totally made up on the spot *phew*).
Not having had a chance to sit down and breathe for the past two and a half days, (mostly due to constant classes and meetings), it’s strange that my first true bit of free time is actually during class. (Don’t be mad, it’s just speeches and people seem really nervous.)
The Junior Statesmen of America is an incredibly busy program, I often find myself moving about like a bee in search for pollen under its queen’s orders. Weird, I know,. My schedule is (if I remember correctly) a little as follows:
8:30 AM- Civil Rights. Our main class with a Dr. La Tosha Bruce who’s voice is really, really soothing and Misty and Melissa, and I have a hard time staying awake due to lack of sleep. Each class, we plan out break time naps.
10:30 AM- Break time. Where Melissa, Misty and I decide that we’re not so tired after all and wander around, shopping for cupcakes, light bulbs, and shoes.
11:30 AM- Lunch. all woes are forgotten when food is introduced to the equation.
12:45 PM- Civil Rights. Back in class, we lament over our un-naps. Why didn’t we get more sleep? Why???
2:45 PM- Break Time. Once again, we are so not tired, let’s hang out on the grass and listen to the boy who plays guitar until one in the morning…
3:30 PM- LPS Class. Down to the deep dark bowels of the Yale auditorium for a public speech class- us and all 169 members of the JSA.
4:30 PM- Break time. We are so totally not tired… And then there’s more food…
7:00 PM- LPS class. Back in the dungeons Noora catches a bug on a spoon and tries to throw it on me. Later, she claims she was saving me from the wretched beast. I get los ton my first day and wind up in the wrong classroom, so Mr. Blueberry has to teach me how to write a speech.
10:00 PM- Floor meeting. Laura, our RA (Camp Counselor, basically) talks about her boyfriend, Juan Jose Martinez, and goes over JSA policy.
11:00 PM- Bed check. Laura and the rest of us write a speech for her to read to her beau in Spanish, to show off her mad skills. We giggle until one in the morning.
Hope you’ve enjoyed this rather well-structured account of a day in the life of a sleep deprived, far from home almost-college student. (Nah, I’m just kidding, I’m having lots of fun, but I still miss everyone!)
Love,
-Bianca
9:15 PM-ish- JSA class, listening to two minute speeches, including the one that I just made (and totally made up on the spot *phew*).
Not having had a chance to sit down and breathe for the past two and a half days, (mostly due to constant classes and meetings), it’s strange that my first true bit of free time is actually during class. (Don’t be mad, it’s just speeches and people seem really nervous.)
The Junior Statesmen of America is an incredibly busy program, I often find myself moving about like a bee in search for pollen under its queen’s orders. Weird, I know,. My schedule is (if I remember correctly) a little as follows:
8:30 AM- Civil Rights. Our main class with a Dr. La Tosha Bruce who’s voice is really, really soothing and Misty and Melissa, and I have a hard time staying awake due to lack of sleep. Each class, we plan out break time naps.
10:30 AM- Break time. Where Melissa, Misty and I decide that we’re not so tired after all and wander around, shopping for cupcakes, light bulbs, and shoes.
11:30 AM- Lunch. all woes are forgotten when food is introduced to the equation.
12:45 PM- Civil Rights. Back in class, we lament over our un-naps. Why didn’t we get more sleep? Why???
2:45 PM- Break Time. Once again, we are so not tired, let’s hang out on the grass and listen to the boy who plays guitar until one in the morning…
3:30 PM- LPS Class. Down to the deep dark bowels of the Yale auditorium for a public speech class- us and all 169 members of the JSA.
4:30 PM- Break time. We are so totally not tired… And then there’s more food…
7:00 PM- LPS class. Back in the dungeons Noora catches a bug on a spoon and tries to throw it on me. Later, she claims she was saving me from the wretched beast. I get los ton my first day and wind up in the wrong classroom, so Mr. Blueberry has to teach me how to write a speech.
10:00 PM- Floor meeting. Laura, our RA (Camp Counselor, basically) talks about her boyfriend, Juan Jose Martinez, and goes over JSA policy.
11:00 PM- Bed check. Laura and the rest of us write a speech for her to read to her beau in Spanish, to show off her mad skills. We giggle until one in the morning.
Hope you’ve enjoyed this rather well-structured account of a day in the life of a sleep deprived, far from home almost-college student. (Nah, I’m just kidding, I’m having lots of fun, but I still miss everyone!)
Love,
-Bianca
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Yale Diaries Part Two
June 28, 2009
6 AM-ish- Chicago (So they say)
Though I acknowledge that technically (according to my phone that just died from confusion) it is six in the morning here in Illinois, I have my doubts. First of all, it’s entirely too bright to be six in the morning- the sun doesn’t rise until I wake up- about nine on weekends- 7:30 when school’s in session. Second, I just left the airport in LA at eleven PM- one showing of Confession s of a Shopaholic does not take one from pre-midnight to ‘Up and at um.’ This simply does not happen in The Real World and since I spent my whole flight (the parts where I wasn’t watching confessions) trying- and failing- to wrap my head around time zones, I’ve decided that they are simply made up and only California time is truly real and can be trusted- everything else is The Twilight Zone with Edward Cullen and Espadrille shoes- beyond my comprehension.
Well, my flight was absolutely incredible! (I just refrained from writing the word awesome in all caps, Haha.) I managed to snag a window seat (Though this involves the story of a presumably empty seat and an unhappy-looking Hawaiian woman, I will refrain, for the greater good, from recounting it here.) though I wasn’t sure I actually wanted one. (It just seems the thing to do when one finds oneself on a plane.) Taking off was fast and noisy, but afterwards the city was just lights and tiny pinpricks of amber in seemingly random patterns and little black clouds floated under us like thinly stretched out cotton candy (in black licorice flavor, maybe) trying to block the view. After spending half an hour with my face pressed up against the glass like an idiot, thinking how like something out of a George Lucas film this was, I settled down, next to my perturbed Polynesian to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic. It was after the film when I realized that getting onto an airplane is almost exactly like being in a movie theater, only there’s a security check and when you leave you’re in a different place than where you started.
Love,
-Bianca
PS. Tia Nana called when I was still at LAX and the moment she began to speak, the Disney theme “When You Wish Upon a Star” came on via airport speakers. I told her that while I had always known she and Tia Bertha were magical, I had no idea that she could bring Disney’s essence with her over a phone call, to which she replied “Of course.”
6 AM-ish- Chicago (So they say)
Though I acknowledge that technically (according to my phone that just died from confusion) it is six in the morning here in Illinois, I have my doubts. First of all, it’s entirely too bright to be six in the morning- the sun doesn’t rise until I wake up- about nine on weekends- 7:30 when school’s in session. Second, I just left the airport in LA at eleven PM- one showing of Confession s of a Shopaholic does not take one from pre-midnight to ‘Up and at um.’ This simply does not happen in The Real World and since I spent my whole flight (the parts where I wasn’t watching confessions) trying- and failing- to wrap my head around time zones, I’ve decided that they are simply made up and only California time is truly real and can be trusted- everything else is The Twilight Zone with Edward Cullen and Espadrille shoes- beyond my comprehension.
Well, my flight was absolutely incredible! (I just refrained from writing the word awesome in all caps, Haha.) I managed to snag a window seat (Though this involves the story of a presumably empty seat and an unhappy-looking Hawaiian woman, I will refrain, for the greater good, from recounting it here.) though I wasn’t sure I actually wanted one. (It just seems the thing to do when one finds oneself on a plane.) Taking off was fast and noisy, but afterwards the city was just lights and tiny pinpricks of amber in seemingly random patterns and little black clouds floated under us like thinly stretched out cotton candy (in black licorice flavor, maybe) trying to block the view. After spending half an hour with my face pressed up against the glass like an idiot, thinking how like something out of a George Lucas film this was, I settled down, next to my perturbed Polynesian to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic. It was after the film when I realized that getting onto an airplane is almost exactly like being in a movie theater, only there’s a security check and when you leave you’re in a different place than where you started.
Love,
-Bianca
PS. Tia Nana called when I was still at LAX and the moment she began to speak, the Disney theme “When You Wish Upon a Star” came on via airport speakers. I told her that while I had always known she and Tia Bertha were magical, I had no idea that she could bring Disney’s essence with her over a phone call, to which she replied “Of course.”
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Yale Diaries Part One
July 1, 2009
1:03 AM- Yale: G-31: My Desk, The Cupboard Under the Stairs
Hi everyone!!! So, this is the first official entry to the Yale Diaries, even though it’s from Saturday night and it is now early, early Wednesday morning as I post this. I originally wrote these down in my notepad, thinking I’d have a chance to type them out/send them all later, however, the JSA program has different plans. Though I have made many new friends (most of them my amazing roommates) and am loving (more or less) my classes- the actual schedule of the program has something against its students remaining healthy, functional people. There is no water, except at the cafeteria and it is SO HOT HERE!!! Haha. Then there’s the actual schedule which has you up by seven and the very earliest you can get to sleep is at eleven thirty-ish (Because out RA, she’s like a camp counselor, Laura, is nice, but she makes it a point to never stop talking at bed checks. She is the only person in the whole world that subtle hints followed by glaring doesn’t work on (I’m seriously kidding about the glaring).
My point is that I’m having a lot of fun, I’m really tired (It’s one AM here), and I miss EVERYONE so very, very much. I love you all, and I wish you were here with me or I could magically transport myself to California every night like Dorothy with her magic red slippers. :D
I’ll type out/send the next blog as soon as I can, I’ll try really hard to make time tomorrow, and to actually write about life here at Yale (It’s like its own town! Seriously! Oh my goodness….). I miss you and love you and can’t wait to see you. Honestly.
Love,
-Bianca
June 27, 2009
9:30 PM- Los Angeles Airport
Never having actually been in an airport of any kind before, you can imagine my surprise when I found them not to be magical places filled with wonder, but rather huge, frightening masses of building materials; generic gray carpet with red flecks, and acres of gleaming white tiled walls. The place, as I somehow managed not to notice in my intensive ignorance- is absolutely huge- ad filled with people. Thousands of people, scurrying this way and that, consuming, sipping at coffees while reading science fiction novels three inches thick while juggling small children to keep them from screaming at their unfortunate situations. People lay across the big, black chairs formed in rows like a movie theater. They munch on snacks and sniffle to themselves a little.
You have to understand that every one of these people is in the same position you are: everyone’s leaving, everyone’s going somewhere, whether it’s back to the homeland or someplace totally new and different. Everyone here is susceptible to some kind of anxiety- and the epic, sorrowful instrumental music certainly isn’t helping anything. Though I expected the various, upbeat forms of Frank Sinatra’s Come Fly With Me the airline seemed to be going for a tear-shedding rather than smiling experience.
All in all, I think that this went fairly smoothly, incredibly so for me. I got through security (which, despite the name of the airport, is far from lax) without being asked to leave or giggling nervously. I managed not to hold up any lines for more than five seconds and make it to the general area of my terminal without assistance (A nice woman who worked for the airport had to lead me to gate 74 after that, but I really did have the general idea) and I even got through everything without talking to strangers (As both Tia’s Bertha, Nana, Minnie, Gina, as well as my mother, warned me about). At first, I was surrounded by parents bearing more or less excited children, but now they’ve been replaced with the sullen teens and average Joe types. Despite the fact that my phone has enough battery for maybe two calls before it looses it’s life completely, I’ve not been able to resist the urge to text and call nearly everyone who I know is still awake and just when I finally put my foot down and bade everyone a good night, more began to call me back. I suppose there’s always payphones…
PS. The ground beneath me is shaking, at first I thought it was my knees trembling from holding up my laptop, set upon my smallish backpack, but then I remembered that I am at an airport and planes are huge…
1:03 AM- Yale: G-31: My Desk, The Cupboard Under the Stairs
Hi everyone!!! So, this is the first official entry to the Yale Diaries, even though it’s from Saturday night and it is now early, early Wednesday morning as I post this. I originally wrote these down in my notepad, thinking I’d have a chance to type them out/send them all later, however, the JSA program has different plans. Though I have made many new friends (most of them my amazing roommates) and am loving (more or less) my classes- the actual schedule of the program has something against its students remaining healthy, functional people. There is no water, except at the cafeteria and it is SO HOT HERE!!! Haha. Then there’s the actual schedule which has you up by seven and the very earliest you can get to sleep is at eleven thirty-ish (Because out RA, she’s like a camp counselor, Laura, is nice, but she makes it a point to never stop talking at bed checks. She is the only person in the whole world that subtle hints followed by glaring doesn’t work on (I’m seriously kidding about the glaring).
My point is that I’m having a lot of fun, I’m really tired (It’s one AM here), and I miss EVERYONE so very, very much. I love you all, and I wish you were here with me or I could magically transport myself to California every night like Dorothy with her magic red slippers. :D
I’ll type out/send the next blog as soon as I can, I’ll try really hard to make time tomorrow, and to actually write about life here at Yale (It’s like its own town! Seriously! Oh my goodness….). I miss you and love you and can’t wait to see you. Honestly.
Love,
-Bianca
June 27, 2009
9:30 PM- Los Angeles Airport
Never having actually been in an airport of any kind before, you can imagine my surprise when I found them not to be magical places filled with wonder, but rather huge, frightening masses of building materials; generic gray carpet with red flecks, and acres of gleaming white tiled walls. The place, as I somehow managed not to notice in my intensive ignorance- is absolutely huge- ad filled with people. Thousands of people, scurrying this way and that, consuming, sipping at coffees while reading science fiction novels three inches thick while juggling small children to keep them from screaming at their unfortunate situations. People lay across the big, black chairs formed in rows like a movie theater. They munch on snacks and sniffle to themselves a little.
You have to understand that every one of these people is in the same position you are: everyone’s leaving, everyone’s going somewhere, whether it’s back to the homeland or someplace totally new and different. Everyone here is susceptible to some kind of anxiety- and the epic, sorrowful instrumental music certainly isn’t helping anything. Though I expected the various, upbeat forms of Frank Sinatra’s Come Fly With Me the airline seemed to be going for a tear-shedding rather than smiling experience.
All in all, I think that this went fairly smoothly, incredibly so for me. I got through security (which, despite the name of the airport, is far from lax) without being asked to leave or giggling nervously. I managed not to hold up any lines for more than five seconds and make it to the general area of my terminal without assistance (A nice woman who worked for the airport had to lead me to gate 74 after that, but I really did have the general idea) and I even got through everything without talking to strangers (As both Tia’s Bertha, Nana, Minnie, Gina, as well as my mother, warned me about). At first, I was surrounded by parents bearing more or less excited children, but now they’ve been replaced with the sullen teens and average Joe types. Despite the fact that my phone has enough battery for maybe two calls before it looses it’s life completely, I’ve not been able to resist the urge to text and call nearly everyone who I know is still awake and just when I finally put my foot down and bade everyone a good night, more began to call me back. I suppose there’s always payphones…
PS. The ground beneath me is shaking, at first I thought it was my knees trembling from holding up my laptop, set upon my smallish backpack, but then I remembered that I am at an airport and planes are huge…
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Sedaris
Last night I spent four hours waiting in a line of well-read, dry-humored people, fending my ever-impatient mother off by either telling her that it would only be ten minutes more or that I would owe her a kidney should she ever need one. She agreed at the end of the night, as we tried to find our way home from deep in the heart of Los Angeles at 11:36, that, yes, I would definitely owe her a kidney.
As I waited, I spoke with many brilliant and equally interesting people. One older woman talked to me about her own troubles with learning French (Like Sedaris) as she had bought a house in France in the first hour that she had arrived in the country with her husband. I thought this was a little Diane Laine but said nothing but "Wow."
David Sedaris, in hopes of keeping his fans pleased, I imagine, read essays and then passages from his own diary. Many were about Breast Milk- the theme of his tour, as he told us- all were hysterical.
"Ladies," He read from his diary in a passage about a fake Weight Watchers meeting, "You cannot tell me that you've never turned your own breast milk into butter and then slathered that butter on fudge and pressed pecans into it, because I know you have. If you denied that, you wouldn't be just big and fat, you'd be big, fat liars." The crowd nearly wet their pants.
When I finally got up to see David Sedaris, right after I a rousing discussion with Sedaris' publicist's assistant (sweet lady) about changing my name to Bianc-O thanks to the odd way that the man who wrote out my name for Sedaris makes his A's, he turned out to be (despite some awful things that he writes about himself in his books, that we all secretly enjoy) an incredibly sweet, humble, hungry man. And funny. But that goes without saying.
I had just made a new friend, Vanessa, (Or Vaness-O, depending on who you ask) and she agreed to go up and talk to David with me, so neither of us would have to be alone. David Sedaris snatched up my books (In an completely non-rude way, of course) and began to doodle a turtle with Abraham Lincoln's face (or an Abraham Lincoln with a turtle body, depending on how one looks at it, I suppose) in my copy of When You Are Engulfed In Flames. At the same time, he aptly stuffed lettuce leaves in his mouth from his delicious looking (I hadn't eaten since lunch and lunch had been watermelon and popcorn) salad. He looked at me apologetically when I said hello, because of his current speech incapabilities.
"Don't worry," I said, "I'm glad to see you're eating, we worry, sometimes, about whether famous people get enough to eat." I was speaking for Vanessa and myself.
"You worry about me?" Asked David Sedaris through a mouthful of leaves (his mouth closed, of course, making his voice sound muffled but sentimental).
"Yes, of course," I said, "Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think to myself 'I hope David Sedaris got enough to eat today'."
He dismissed my made-up-on-the-spot fears by telling Vanessa and I just how much he ate when he was on tour, and how much he gained at these times. "When Hugh and I go back to Normandy," he confided, "I call it camp Pugslington."
After a few moments of discussion about the cat he had drawn in Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim ("It's a cat that got in a fight." He declared quite seriously, to which I replied, jokingly, of course, "Sometimes I wish my cat could get in a fight and not make it out alive.") I finally pounced on my last chance to ask him my main question, the one I had mulled over for hours.
"Are you still afraid?" I asked. "Of the zombies? I'm terrified every time I pass a graveyard, are you still afraid of them?"
"I think about them all the time."
As I waited, I spoke with many brilliant and equally interesting people. One older woman talked to me about her own troubles with learning French (Like Sedaris) as she had bought a house in France in the first hour that she had arrived in the country with her husband. I thought this was a little Diane Laine but said nothing but "Wow."
David Sedaris, in hopes of keeping his fans pleased, I imagine, read essays and then passages from his own diary. Many were about Breast Milk- the theme of his tour, as he told us- all were hysterical.
"Ladies," He read from his diary in a passage about a fake Weight Watchers meeting, "You cannot tell me that you've never turned your own breast milk into butter and then slathered that butter on fudge and pressed pecans into it, because I know you have. If you denied that, you wouldn't be just big and fat, you'd be big, fat liars." The crowd nearly wet their pants.
When I finally got up to see David Sedaris, right after I a rousing discussion with Sedaris' publicist's assistant (sweet lady) about changing my name to Bianc-O thanks to the odd way that the man who wrote out my name for Sedaris makes his A's, he turned out to be (despite some awful things that he writes about himself in his books, that we all secretly enjoy) an incredibly sweet, humble, hungry man. And funny. But that goes without saying.
I had just made a new friend, Vanessa, (Or Vaness-O, depending on who you ask) and she agreed to go up and talk to David with me, so neither of us would have to be alone. David Sedaris snatched up my books (In an completely non-rude way, of course) and began to doodle a turtle with Abraham Lincoln's face (or an Abraham Lincoln with a turtle body, depending on how one looks at it, I suppose) in my copy of When You Are Engulfed In Flames. At the same time, he aptly stuffed lettuce leaves in his mouth from his delicious looking (I hadn't eaten since lunch and lunch had been watermelon and popcorn) salad. He looked at me apologetically when I said hello, because of his current speech incapabilities.
"Don't worry," I said, "I'm glad to see you're eating, we worry, sometimes, about whether famous people get enough to eat." I was speaking for Vanessa and myself.
"You worry about me?" Asked David Sedaris through a mouthful of leaves (his mouth closed, of course, making his voice sound muffled but sentimental).
"Yes, of course," I said, "Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and think to myself 'I hope David Sedaris got enough to eat today'."
He dismissed my made-up-on-the-spot fears by telling Vanessa and I just how much he ate when he was on tour, and how much he gained at these times. "When Hugh and I go back to Normandy," he confided, "I call it camp Pugslington."
After a few moments of discussion about the cat he had drawn in Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim ("It's a cat that got in a fight." He declared quite seriously, to which I replied, jokingly, of course, "Sometimes I wish my cat could get in a fight and not make it out alive.") I finally pounced on my last chance to ask him my main question, the one I had mulled over for hours.
"Are you still afraid?" I asked. "Of the zombies? I'm terrified every time I pass a graveyard, are you still afraid of them?"
"I think about them all the time."
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Stupid, Stiupid, STOOpid.
OMGoodness.
FML.
*Notice the font has gone from bright blue to a deep, wilting flower purple (That matches the color of Kiss Of Life) to reflect my crappy mood.*
I felt like crap.
And then I went to the store. Where there's a meat market. Where a particularly cute guy works. Who I've been waiting to talk to forever. Named David.
And I talked to him. And my MOM was there.
And it was my fault.
And I acted like a total idiot!
Mom: *Points to pickled pork skins* Those are those pickled pork skins!
Me: Ewwwwww *shudders cutely for David*
Mom: Grandpa used to buy those.
Me: AND EAT them?! *this is real disgust, folks*
Mom: YES.
David: Did you want to try them?
Me: NO, thankyou. *cute grossed out face*
David chuckles.
Me: You've gotta have guts to down those, I think.... Have you ever tried them?
David: Nah, I'm a really picky eater, so I don't eat stuff like that. I'm like really picky so all my food costs a lot.
Mom: Yeah, like lobster?
Him: Yeah, and like filet mingnon and stuff, but mostly I like red meat.
Me: ME TOO! *yum*
Mom: *rolls eyes*
Me: It's good for your SOUL~
Him: Yeah, I mena like last night I made myself some steak and homemade mashed potatoes.
Me is awed.
AND THIS IS WHERE I START TO HATE ME.
Me: Maybe you cna come over and make *me* dinner. FAKE HAHAS. I can bring soda.
I CAN BRING SODA??????????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
*bangs head against Horton who is talking to Whos.*
SODA?!!?!
I'M SO STUPID!
I sold out and acted like a stupid girl- in front of my mother, no less, who will tell everyone what a STOOPID girl I am.
MY SHAME IS NEVER-ENDING.
...
And I just... I don't know... I'm all out of whack again and I don't know why and I keep having these weird... mood swing things... and Ivan tried to talk to me and I got all freaked out and weird and I don't even know why.
I just really hate it.
And I felt all alone today and I don't even know how.
And I feel like crap.
And I just want to dream about Sweets again so I can feel better again.
.... I don't want want to make it, I just want...
... I don't know what I want.
FML.
*Notice the font has gone from bright blue to a deep, wilting flower purple (That matches the color of Kiss Of Life) to reflect my crappy mood.*
I felt like crap.
And then I went to the store. Where there's a meat market. Where a particularly cute guy works. Who I've been waiting to talk to forever. Named David.
And I talked to him. And my MOM was there.
And it was my fault.
And I acted like a total idiot!
Mom: *Points to pickled pork skins* Those are those pickled pork skins!
Me: Ewwwwww *shudders cutely for David*
Mom: Grandpa used to buy those.
Me: AND EAT them?! *this is real disgust, folks*
Mom: YES.
David: Did you want to try them?
Me: NO, thankyou. *cute grossed out face*
David chuckles.
Me: You've gotta have guts to down those, I think.... Have you ever tried them?
David: Nah, I'm a really picky eater, so I don't eat stuff like that. I'm like really picky so all my food costs a lot.
Mom: Yeah, like lobster?
Him: Yeah, and like filet mingnon and stuff, but mostly I like red meat.
Me: ME TOO! *yum*
Mom: *rolls eyes*
Me: It's good for your SOUL~
Him: Yeah, I mena like last night I made myself some steak and homemade mashed potatoes.
Me is awed.
AND THIS IS WHERE I START TO HATE ME.
Me: Maybe you cna come over and make *me* dinner. FAKE HAHAS. I can bring soda.
I CAN BRING SODA??????????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
*bangs head against Horton who is talking to Whos.*
SODA?!!?!
I'M SO STUPID!
I sold out and acted like a stupid girl- in front of my mother, no less, who will tell everyone what a STOOPID girl I am.
MY SHAME IS NEVER-ENDING.
...
And I just... I don't know... I'm all out of whack again and I don't know why and I keep having these weird... mood swing things... and Ivan tried to talk to me and I got all freaked out and weird and I don't even know why.
I just really hate it.
And I felt all alone today and I don't even know how.
And I feel like crap.
And I just want to dream about Sweets again so I can feel better again.
.... I don't want want to make it, I just want...
... I don't know what I want.
Zombies! DMV! Exclamation Points!
Bet you don't see that too often! LoL
quick bloggy-blog:
Went to the DMV today and was extra-special-super-excited because I couldn't help it and I'm really jazzed about getting my ID! (I'm no longer an invalid when it arrives in ten to fifteen business days!)
SO yeah, hope my picture was good, I tried to do the good smile, not the dumb one, and I vaguely remember straightening mah shoulders! Yeah!
Oh oh oh!!! Gen Dead II: Kiss Of Life, FINALLY came yesterday, so I'm reading it a lot because this weeks STAR testing, which is GREAT! Because we have like two blocks of testing and then tons of breaks and snacks and we just hang out. But today was MATH and I proved how dumb I am by checking "C" for every other one... Gah. And I forgot how to complete the square AND do logarithms AND exponent-ey problems. Gah!
Oh well, I mood swing-ed again for the first time in a few weeks, but since it went from sad to happy, I'm gonna let it slip... maybe I'll dream about Sweets from Bones again :D That solved my problems last time.
OMG- DANIEL WATERS! If you're reading this:
Though your first book was insightful, mind-blowing and ten thousand more superlatives that I don't even know right now- Kiss of Life is absolutely, positively speechless! I'm speechless, the way you wrote Adam's point of view is... astounding. I've officially run out of superlatives for you, Dan and just know that I love you (your writing, I know that sounds creepy, sorry) your concepts, everything and I've become a walking advertisement for you. Just know that. :D
Kay kay, loves, this is it. Remember: If you were a zombie- I'd still be your friend. :D
Now I have to go do homework... :D
Love,
-Bianca!
quick bloggy-blog:
Went to the DMV today and was extra-special-super-excited because I couldn't help it and I'm really jazzed about getting my ID! (I'm no longer an invalid when it arrives in ten to fifteen business days!)
SO yeah, hope my picture was good, I tried to do the good smile, not the dumb one, and I vaguely remember straightening mah shoulders! Yeah!
Oh oh oh!!! Gen Dead II: Kiss Of Life, FINALLY came yesterday, so I'm reading it a lot because this weeks STAR testing, which is GREAT! Because we have like two blocks of testing and then tons of breaks and snacks and we just hang out. But today was MATH and I proved how dumb I am by checking "C" for every other one... Gah. And I forgot how to complete the square AND do logarithms AND exponent-ey problems. Gah!
Oh well, I mood swing-ed again for the first time in a few weeks, but since it went from sad to happy, I'm gonna let it slip... maybe I'll dream about Sweets from Bones again :D That solved my problems last time.
OMG- DANIEL WATERS! If you're reading this:
Though your first book was insightful, mind-blowing and ten thousand more superlatives that I don't even know right now- Kiss of Life is absolutely, positively speechless! I'm speechless, the way you wrote Adam's point of view is... astounding. I've officially run out of superlatives for you, Dan and just know that I love you (your writing, I know that sounds creepy, sorry) your concepts, everything and I've become a walking advertisement for you. Just know that. :D
Kay kay, loves, this is it. Remember: If you were a zombie- I'd still be your friend. :D
Now I have to go do homework... :D
Love,
-Bianca!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Brain Shrinking
Wow.
So I had a pretty crappy week before/after the whole birthday- 17- thing. And like. I was having these super weird mood swings- like 8;00 happy, 11:00 Suicidal (exaggeration), 3:00 ecstatic. And then I had a dream.
About Sweets. From Bones. (Didn't realize how hot he was until he revealed his abuse!)
And We chatted like he was my therapist. And he taught me a magic trick. The End.
And I'm better now. LoL.
And I just came back from Boca's- for my birthday that everybody forgot- and I got a camera. And money. SO I begged mommy to take me to B&N so I could spend the money- ON MY MARVEL BAG!!!
YEAH!
Things are better.
(Also I bought like $40 worth of stuff.... plus five. LoL)
Love,
-Bee!- wildered/dazzled.
PS. "William dahling could you pass the caviar?"
So I had a pretty crappy week before/after the whole birthday- 17- thing. And like. I was having these super weird mood swings- like 8;00 happy, 11:00 Suicidal (exaggeration), 3:00 ecstatic. And then I had a dream.
About Sweets. From Bones. (Didn't realize how hot he was until he revealed his abuse!)
And We chatted like he was my therapist. And he taught me a magic trick. The End.
And I'm better now. LoL.
And I just came back from Boca's- for my birthday that everybody forgot- and I got a camera. And money. SO I begged mommy to take me to B&N so I could spend the money- ON MY MARVEL BAG!!!
YEAH!
Things are better.
(Also I bought like $40 worth of stuff.... plus five. LoL)
Love,
-Bee!- wildered/dazzled.
PS. "William dahling could you pass the caviar?"
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Utter Crap
My birthday is in like three days... and I've never felt more like crap.
My grades are so close to being great and I feel like there's these permanent road blocks in my way- The teachers do NOT want to help me with this- or so it feels- I've outgrown my usefulness to my hero who now doesn't like me anymore- there's nothing to read- my group hates me- I seem to have that affect on people- I have like two friends and I feel like I can tell them very little- No one cares that it's my birthday. My family is trying to turn it into this thing that's more about school than ME and I'm being mean to the one person who I've ever liked as a prospective mate.
On the plus side- it wasn't hot today.
Seriously, I feel like I can't tell anyone how crappy things are right now. If I try they don't listen or they think I'm joking and the people who do care didn't used to care and now it's like... I can't tell you anything, you blew it.
I want a therapist but if I tell my mom I'm going to therapy it'll just be worse. I can't even cry. I mean, I was so upset today and then people just treated it like it was no big deal... at all.
And I know that no one's going to remember my birthday. I mean, they never do. Joseph will, that's something.
But I'm not cool/nice/sincere/great enough for other people to remember me.
I'm not hilarious, I'm not incredibly sweet or even incredibly awkward, I just make people hate me.
Like my group members.
Victor hates me, he makes shooting fingers under the desk at me.
And I totally thought he was nice/cute.
And he totally hates me.
And people who I think/thought were my friends totally hate/disrespect/ don't take me serious.
And I'm not a good writer anymore, apparently, or not *great* because Mrs. Edwards doesn't love me anymore.
And I have writers block.
And I'm going to be seventeen and no one cares. I don't even care that much.
There's too much work to do and no one to take me seriously and I just want to go to Disneyland and never come home.
Because my heart is pulsing with my own humanity and it's painful and sad.
"And livings just a waste of breath and life it just a waste of death and why do we put the same address on the same old loneliness?"
Like that song.
I sort of finished reading/skimming Macbeth for school and I loved the speech Macbeth made when his wifey was dead.
"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..."
And it's like... I just want to go run away to Italy for the summer, wander the Colosseum, eat cake, drink tiny espresso, flirt with Italian guys, bathe in fountains when it's hot and sleep on park benches.
Because i'm tired of the stress and the unfairness and the insanity and people not listening.
Because I want to go and do something reckless enough that people will notice and think i'm completely insane and interesting at the same time.
Something that will make all the bastards that treated me like crap (and continue to treat me like crap) in middle school take pause and recognize me as a fellow human being.
Most of all to get away from tomorrow... and tomorrow... and tomorrow.
To do something that will make me interesting and glamorous and tan and more Bianca than I am right now. (contradiction, though. LoL. Bianca= white)
I want to run away to find more of myself, chisel my character into something that everyone, not just I, love. Someone who's reckless and a little bit dangerous.
The someone I know I am that no one else believes is there.
I want to end the endless expectations, cease the ceaseless bragging and lectures and stop the secret contempt.
I want freedom.
I want glory.
I want love.
But the greatest of all these things is... as of this second; Freedom.
My grades are so close to being great and I feel like there's these permanent road blocks in my way- The teachers do NOT want to help me with this- or so it feels- I've outgrown my usefulness to my hero who now doesn't like me anymore- there's nothing to read- my group hates me- I seem to have that affect on people- I have like two friends and I feel like I can tell them very little- No one cares that it's my birthday. My family is trying to turn it into this thing that's more about school than ME and I'm being mean to the one person who I've ever liked as a prospective mate.
On the plus side- it wasn't hot today.
Seriously, I feel like I can't tell anyone how crappy things are right now. If I try they don't listen or they think I'm joking and the people who do care didn't used to care and now it's like... I can't tell you anything, you blew it.
I want a therapist but if I tell my mom I'm going to therapy it'll just be worse. I can't even cry. I mean, I was so upset today and then people just treated it like it was no big deal... at all.
And I know that no one's going to remember my birthday. I mean, they never do. Joseph will, that's something.
But I'm not cool/nice/sincere/great enough for other people to remember me.
I'm not hilarious, I'm not incredibly sweet or even incredibly awkward, I just make people hate me.
Like my group members.
Victor hates me, he makes shooting fingers under the desk at me.
And I totally thought he was nice/cute.
And he totally hates me.
And people who I think/thought were my friends totally hate/disrespect/ don't take me serious.
And I'm not a good writer anymore, apparently, or not *great* because Mrs. Edwards doesn't love me anymore.
And I have writers block.
And I'm going to be seventeen and no one cares. I don't even care that much.
There's too much work to do and no one to take me seriously and I just want to go to Disneyland and never come home.
Because my heart is pulsing with my own humanity and it's painful and sad.
"And livings just a waste of breath and life it just a waste of death and why do we put the same address on the same old loneliness?"
Like that song.
I sort of finished reading/skimming Macbeth for school and I loved the speech Macbeth made when his wifey was dead.
"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..."
And it's like... I just want to go run away to Italy for the summer, wander the Colosseum, eat cake, drink tiny espresso, flirt with Italian guys, bathe in fountains when it's hot and sleep on park benches.
Because i'm tired of the stress and the unfairness and the insanity and people not listening.
Because I want to go and do something reckless enough that people will notice and think i'm completely insane and interesting at the same time.
Something that will make all the bastards that treated me like crap (and continue to treat me like crap) in middle school take pause and recognize me as a fellow human being.
Most of all to get away from tomorrow... and tomorrow... and tomorrow.
To do something that will make me interesting and glamorous and tan and more Bianca than I am right now. (contradiction, though. LoL. Bianca= white)
I want to run away to find more of myself, chisel my character into something that everyone, not just I, love. Someone who's reckless and a little bit dangerous.
The someone I know I am that no one else believes is there.
I want to end the endless expectations, cease the ceaseless bragging and lectures and stop the secret contempt.
I want freedom.
I want glory.
I want love.
But the greatest of all these things is... as of this second; Freedom.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
The Adult Inside My Heart- Grows Down
Hey Peeps!
(In honor of the so-called zombie holiday, and I say it only in fun and mean no offense ;p Just like I meant none in the rant I wrote for the I-Poly Official Magazine, where said that chocolate brains from Sees Co. would be more relevant than Bunnies...)
So I didn't even have a peep today! LoL What fun is that?
But i really did have a great Easter... I received some movie tickets and some of those sucker candies... no chocolate though... kinda sad ;p And Tia Nana gave me this kind of little kiddish polyester bright green Tinkerbell set of pajamas.... and I must say I'm sort of in love with them. ;p It's super weird/cool. Tia Bertha/Nina/Dada gave me the movie tickets :D
It was weird, my mom was blah blahing about the whole Yale thing and then... all of a sudden.. the fam was... super different...
I mean, my family's full of kids that are younger/more immature than myself and they were all... like... mature-er... It was so odd.
My little cousin has his driver's permit, he and Jared didn't just go play video games straight away, Olivia played with the little kids but everyone sat together and talked... like, every one's finally growing up... it's so weird!
And then the adults, usually, when I try to talk WITH them, they ignore me or kind of interrupt me... like, I don't really matter that much because I'm not 18+, but today, they actually talked WITH me, listened to me, responded intelligently.... IDK, it was cool/weird, the combination made for a really, really cool Easter. I mean... it was so pleasant! And what made it 10x better was that I didn't watch everyone else have a good time like I normally do, I sort of... was in it... which is rare, to say the least... I'm happy though, really happy. :)
And then I had fun dying eggiwegs, I sort of got overzealous and dies the raw ones at our house... so breakfast can be more interesting, you know? I even made devilled eggs, which I ADORE! YUM!
Oh my goodness, we had this project for English, project Tableau, and all this vacation time to work on it, and I so did NOTHING.
But I'm not freaking out... magically.
I guess it's cuz.... the sub teacher/ student teacher/ person, Mrs. Moore, she sort of tricked me by half-threatening my grade if I didn't get a group member and friend of mine to work... which is impossible because, honestly the girl's just too freaking smart to be expected to do high school work... she should have two PHDs by now... and yeah. I sort of mini exploded... which I haven't done for real in like... ever...
I lost control.
Which brought me back to my Jr. High days, which made me mad at myself, which made me mad at Mrs. Moore, which then made me even angrier at myself for being a stoopid pawn, which made me promise to calm down and not freak out like... at all.
Which has actually been working out pretty well... I feel pretty zen...
Which helped me when my mom told me that she didn't date because I'm basically too smart/annoying to be trusted around others...
I'm not even that smart! Why does no one understand that knowing random crud doesn't make me intelligent, it just gives people the impression that I am??? And that I'm not like, IDK, overwhelmed with knowledge and that's why I can't stop saying facts, it's just because, half of the time, I don't even know that they're "facts" I just say them! UGH!
It's like word vomit, thoughtless word vomit... I find it interesting so I say it and then every one's all 0.o
It makes me INSANE.
I mean, if I was so freaking smart, maybe I'd get an E in writing workshop or maybe I'd pass chemistry wit an AE!!! LoL
I'm not retarded, I just think I'm that line between Intelligent and average.
It's like:
Idiot----------------Average-------[Bianca]------ Intelligent------FREAKING GENIUS----- Jo Thorne +Kat Meza
Yeah, just like that!
LoL!
Note where I am on the Brain o meter.
And don't let the zombies see!
Haha Oh, Dan Waters...
OMGoodness B&N didn't have Gen Dead Paperback edition with the two chapters of the soon-to-be-in-a-store-near-you SEQUEL!!!!'
I was SOOOOO bummed!
OMGOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHH!!!!
I almost forgot- I officially found THE BEST BOOK EVVVVVEEEER!!!!
*AHHhhh Chorus Of Angels AHHHHHHHhhh*
~ A Certain Slant of Light ~
It's *so* cute!!!
couple- old- teenage bodies- strict parents- EMPTY SHELL PEOPLE [so freakin frightening]- OMGOODNESS CUTENESS=- ROMANCE- old fashioned- he tries to tip his hat BUT HE CAN'T BECAUSE HE'S IN THE BODY OF A DRUGGIA AND HE HAS NO HATTTTT!!!! :D
SO AMAZING!!!
LoL
Also, I'm in love with a gross/frightening movie...
Yeah, I'm sort of in love with it....
A Haunting in Connecticut!
I thought it was going to scare the pants offa me but it was actually... really touching...
And the boy, Jonah, he was so sad! I wanted to hug him... but then he was charred and I was like... *hug like white people* LoL! and then he had cancer and... and... and the whole thing about ectoplasm, I was like, OMGoodness this was so not mentioned by Mary Roach! I was like, that has to count as ghost rape or SOMETHING because that looks completely awful!
And I LOVE the paradox poem!
and the struggle with addiction and the hospitals and the end!
<333
I loved that they found peace. :)
The sounds were gross, though, that part really, really wrong.
Anyways....
really great plot... I want to go see it again ;p
LoL
and "A Certain Slant of Light"
I was telling Christina how much I loved it because she read it <3>
and I was like, "OMGoodness I want to marry that book when I grow up! If it was a person and I could choose between book person and Gerard Way, I'd push Way out of the way and attack book person!"
But by that part Chris and I were cracking up too hard to even hear the rest, LoL
Way out of the way...
AnyWAY
I'm currently enjoying my insomnia right now... I think I'd be diagnosed as a partial insomniac... weirdly, during the break, when I could sleep at late and stay up as late as I wanted, I went to be at like nine or ten and woke at 8ish.... Maybe it's my almost-insomnia...
Anywhooo...
Imma try to sleep now... This Spring Break was nice, I made a whole bunch of plans and then broke them all to eat lemon tarts and drink iced green tea at Barnes and noble and watch a scary movie and wear pretty dressed :)
That's my kind of productivity.
My Love,
-Bianca
ps. I figured out that I'm an Italian changeling and that, somewhere in a pasta-eating family, the real Bianca with dark hair/skin is frowning at her manicotti, wishing for beans and pronouncing "IL" as "EL" LoL
<3
(In honor of the so-called zombie holiday, and I say it only in fun and mean no offense ;p Just like I meant none in the rant I wrote for the I-Poly Official Magazine, where said that chocolate brains from Sees Co. would be more relevant than Bunnies...)
So I didn't even have a peep today! LoL What fun is that?
But i really did have a great Easter... I received some movie tickets and some of those sucker candies... no chocolate though... kinda sad ;p And Tia Nana gave me this kind of little kiddish polyester bright green Tinkerbell set of pajamas.... and I must say I'm sort of in love with them. ;p It's super weird/cool. Tia Bertha/Nina/Dada gave me the movie tickets :D
It was weird, my mom was blah blahing about the whole Yale thing and then... all of a sudden.. the fam was... super different...
I mean, my family's full of kids that are younger/more immature than myself and they were all... like... mature-er... It was so odd.
My little cousin has his driver's permit, he and Jared didn't just go play video games straight away, Olivia played with the little kids but everyone sat together and talked... like, every one's finally growing up... it's so weird!
And then the adults, usually, when I try to talk WITH them, they ignore me or kind of interrupt me... like, I don't really matter that much because I'm not 18+, but today, they actually talked WITH me, listened to me, responded intelligently.... IDK, it was cool/weird, the combination made for a really, really cool Easter. I mean... it was so pleasant! And what made it 10x better was that I didn't watch everyone else have a good time like I normally do, I sort of... was in it... which is rare, to say the least... I'm happy though, really happy. :)
And then I had fun dying eggiwegs, I sort of got overzealous and dies the raw ones at our house... so breakfast can be more interesting, you know? I even made devilled eggs, which I ADORE! YUM!
Oh my goodness, we had this project for English, project Tableau, and all this vacation time to work on it, and I so did NOTHING.
But I'm not freaking out... magically.
I guess it's cuz.... the sub teacher/ student teacher/ person, Mrs. Moore, she sort of tricked me by half-threatening my grade if I didn't get a group member and friend of mine to work... which is impossible because, honestly the girl's just too freaking smart to be expected to do high school work... she should have two PHDs by now... and yeah. I sort of mini exploded... which I haven't done for real in like... ever...
I lost control.
Which brought me back to my Jr. High days, which made me mad at myself, which made me mad at Mrs. Moore, which then made me even angrier at myself for being a stoopid pawn, which made me promise to calm down and not freak out like... at all.
Which has actually been working out pretty well... I feel pretty zen...
Which helped me when my mom told me that she didn't date because I'm basically too smart/annoying to be trusted around others...
I'm not even that smart! Why does no one understand that knowing random crud doesn't make me intelligent, it just gives people the impression that I am??? And that I'm not like, IDK, overwhelmed with knowledge and that's why I can't stop saying facts, it's just because, half of the time, I don't even know that they're "facts" I just say them! UGH!
It's like word vomit, thoughtless word vomit... I find it interesting so I say it and then every one's all 0.o
It makes me INSANE.
I mean, if I was so freaking smart, maybe I'd get an E in writing workshop or maybe I'd pass chemistry wit an AE!!! LoL
I'm not retarded, I just think I'm that line between Intelligent and average.
It's like:
Idiot----------------Average-------[Bianca]------ Intelligent------FREAKING GENIUS----- Jo Thorne +Kat Meza
Yeah, just like that!
LoL!
Note where I am on the Brain o meter.
And don't let the zombies see!
Haha Oh, Dan Waters...
OMGoodness B&N didn't have Gen Dead Paperback edition with the two chapters of the soon-to-be-in-a-store-near-you SEQUEL!!!!'
I was SOOOOO bummed!
OMGOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSHHHH!!!!
I almost forgot- I officially found THE BEST BOOK EVVVVVEEEER!!!!
*AHHhhh Chorus Of Angels AHHHHHHHhhh*
~ A Certain Slant of Light ~
It's *so* cute!!!
couple- old- teenage bodies- strict parents- EMPTY SHELL PEOPLE [so freakin frightening]- OMGOODNESS CUTENESS=- ROMANCE- old fashioned- he tries to tip his hat BUT HE CAN'T BECAUSE HE'S IN THE BODY OF A DRUGGIA AND HE HAS NO HATTTTT!!!! :D
SO AMAZING!!!
LoL
Also, I'm in love with a gross/frightening movie...
Yeah, I'm sort of in love with it....
A Haunting in Connecticut!
I thought it was going to scare the pants offa me but it was actually... really touching...
And the boy, Jonah, he was so sad! I wanted to hug him... but then he was charred and I was like... *hug like white people* LoL! and then he had cancer and... and... and the whole thing about ectoplasm, I was like, OMGoodness this was so not mentioned by Mary Roach! I was like, that has to count as ghost rape or SOMETHING because that looks completely awful!
And I LOVE the paradox poem!
and the struggle with addiction and the hospitals and the end!
<333
I loved that they found peace. :)
The sounds were gross, though, that part really, really wrong.
Anyways....
really great plot... I want to go see it again ;p
LoL
and "A Certain Slant of Light"
I was telling Christina how much I loved it because she read it <3>
and I was like, "OMGoodness I want to marry that book when I grow up! If it was a person and I could choose between book person and Gerard Way, I'd push Way out of the way and attack book person!"
But by that part Chris and I were cracking up too hard to even hear the rest, LoL
Way out of the way...
AnyWAY
I'm currently enjoying my insomnia right now... I think I'd be diagnosed as a partial insomniac... weirdly, during the break, when I could sleep at late and stay up as late as I wanted, I went to be at like nine or ten and woke at 8ish.... Maybe it's my almost-insomnia...
Anywhooo...
Imma try to sleep now... This Spring Break was nice, I made a whole bunch of plans and then broke them all to eat lemon tarts and drink iced green tea at Barnes and noble and watch a scary movie and wear pretty dressed :)
That's my kind of productivity.
My Love,
-Bianca
ps. I figured out that I'm an Italian changeling and that, somewhere in a pasta-eating family, the real Bianca with dark hair/skin is frowning at her manicotti, wishing for beans and pronouncing "IL" as "EL" LoL
<3
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Magic Meet Keyboard!
Garrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Hey Peoples...
So I finished reading the Holly Black Tithe/Valiant/Ironside series yesterday (I started... IDK, sometime during the week...) and it was SO AMAZING!!!
I figured out that I only love angsty chracters...
So, of course, I LOVE Roiben!!! and Ravus! MUAH! I love them!
But mostly I love Roiben... because, you know, he's pretty. But i still like Ravus, I love his character... the whole book is like an even more magical homeless cracked out Beauty and the Beast! YEAH! It's so cool! I even like Val a little, despite her druggieness... she falls in love with Ravus, I guess that sort of redeems her. But the whole part before the ending was so SAD! HOW COULD HE THINK SHE DIDN'T LOVE HIM!?!?!? GAH! LoL
Anyway
It gave me an idea for Micte, see, she's supposed to marry this other king, Gerard of Thantos, so the kingdom can combine against Trell... only Gerard falls in love with Jane, he BFF, which she's grateful for, because she sort of hates Gerard, but no worries- they get to know each other and become platonic friend later on.
ANYWAY
I didn't want little Micte to not have a sweetie
So I was like OHMY GOODNESS!
She can have a KAYE! (Not a girl, though, there's only room for one amazing gay character right now, and it's Jason and he's in an entirely different book, MKAY?)
like, she can't marry him because everyone disapproves of him because...
He's a fairy boy!!! (tehe, again, not gay, only room for Jason, Jason darling needs his space!)
He's got wings! (And I'm debating on a different color skin but all I can come up with is GOLD! Yeah!)
and since he's a fairy, he's not really supposed to be trusted, but then I'm thinking he's only half Fairy... don't ask how that happened...
and since he's a mutt, no one likes him!
But Micte most certainly does *wags eyebrows*
and yeah!
it'll be so PERFECT!
<333
and I'm thinkingI like the Eragon/Tithe Name thing, it'll cause some good fear/angst... maybe
LoL
sooooooo...
Oh this week is spring break... EASTER VACATION!
and my mom already seems to not be in a very good mood... *sigh*
this is so normal it's sad.
RATH ROIBEN RYE!!!!!!!!!!!
<333
tehe
anywho....
M really bored right now...
I have this urge to be super duper magical! And I'm going to ren fair as a fairy!! YEAH! (I've been planning that anyways, LoL)
but now i have this problem, it's growing and growing and growning exponentially...
cuz, see...
I really want to write something MAGICAL
Even though I have all these new ideas for Misha...
I really want to write *Magic*
so My OBVIOUS choice is Micte and her magical kingdom of death! <3>
But then there's Ava! And she's PSYCHIC!
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
IDK!
IDK IDK IDK
and then I was reading Isabel and I realized what a horrible writer i was/can be
anyway
I've got tons of plans for vacation time, and almost none of them involve being home :D
peace out- lovers!
love,
-Bee!
ps. FOUR pages of the new I-Poly Magazine!!!
FOUR!!!! <3333
pss. i want to glamour myself green-eyed, blond and long-haired with crazy long lashes and a freaking sweet fairy costume and wings and.... and... and....
Hey Peoples...
So I finished reading the Holly Black Tithe/Valiant/Ironside series yesterday (I started... IDK, sometime during the week...) and it was SO AMAZING!!!
I figured out that I only love angsty chracters...
So, of course, I LOVE Roiben!!! and Ravus! MUAH! I love them!
But mostly I love Roiben... because, you know, he's pretty. But i still like Ravus, I love his character... the whole book is like an even more magical homeless cracked out Beauty and the Beast! YEAH! It's so cool! I even like Val a little, despite her druggieness... she falls in love with Ravus, I guess that sort of redeems her. But the whole part before the ending was so SAD! HOW COULD HE THINK SHE DIDN'T LOVE HIM!?!?!? GAH! LoL
Anyway
It gave me an idea for Micte, see, she's supposed to marry this other king, Gerard of Thantos, so the kingdom can combine against Trell... only Gerard falls in love with Jane, he BFF, which she's grateful for, because she sort of hates Gerard, but no worries- they get to know each other and become platonic friend later on.
ANYWAY
I didn't want little Micte to not have a sweetie
So I was like OHMY GOODNESS!
She can have a KAYE! (Not a girl, though, there's only room for one amazing gay character right now, and it's Jason and he's in an entirely different book, MKAY?)
like, she can't marry him because everyone disapproves of him because...
He's a fairy boy!!! (tehe, again, not gay, only room for Jason, Jason darling needs his space!)
He's got wings! (And I'm debating on a different color skin but all I can come up with is GOLD! Yeah!)
and since he's a fairy, he's not really supposed to be trusted, but then I'm thinking he's only half Fairy... don't ask how that happened...
and since he's a mutt, no one likes him!
But Micte most certainly does *wags eyebrows*
and yeah!
it'll be so PERFECT!
<333
and I'm thinkingI like the Eragon/Tithe Name thing, it'll cause some good fear/angst... maybe
LoL
sooooooo...
Oh this week is spring break... EASTER VACATION!
and my mom already seems to not be in a very good mood... *sigh*
this is so normal it's sad.
RATH ROIBEN RYE!!!!!!!!!!!
<333
tehe
anywho....
M really bored right now...
I have this urge to be super duper magical! And I'm going to ren fair as a fairy!! YEAH! (I've been planning that anyways, LoL)
but now i have this problem, it's growing and growing and growning exponentially...
cuz, see...
I really want to write something MAGICAL
Even though I have all these new ideas for Misha...
I really want to write *Magic*
so My OBVIOUS choice is Micte and her magical kingdom of death! <3>
But then there's Ava! And she's PSYCHIC!
AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
IDK!
IDK IDK IDK
and then I was reading Isabel and I realized what a horrible writer i was/can be
anyway
I've got tons of plans for vacation time, and almost none of them involve being home :D
peace out- lovers!
love,
-Bee!
ps. FOUR pages of the new I-Poly Magazine!!!
FOUR!!!! <3333
pss. i want to glamour myself green-eyed, blond and long-haired with crazy long lashes and a freaking sweet fairy costume and wings and.... and... and....
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Midnight Bayou and Surfers At The Beach
WAUGH!
(That was a good 'waugh' not a bad 'waugh' just to be crystal clear, loves.)
So this past week was a good one. And by good I mean that it went by fast. But good things happened, too... Yesterday Nina and I went to the beach, that's the beauty of California; you work on your tan while the rest of the world cries about the cold and their tears freeze upon their cheeks.
Oh, we did Macbeth, just a little chunk in front of the class with a lil chunk of people. I was the Porter, aka a drunken buffoon. The only thing was, since we had eight characters to play and only five people, we had to edit some characters out entirely and, somehow, my group made it so that I said most of the lines of the terminated characters. Of course, I still had to play a staggering drunk.
It was interesting. But i don't think Mrs. Edwards was very happy with it.
See, I've got this loud, overbearing personality, and people tend to get the impression that I'm a drama queen, which I totally can be. I exaggerate and love being the center of attention once a day. But people also think that means that i take things uber seriously and IDK, touch my hand to my forehead and faint when there's no cake at home or something.
Half the time I just don't care that much.
But i got the distinct impression that MRS EDWARDS got the distinct impression (Did I mention that Mrs. WDWARDS is my HERO?) that I purposely made it so that I got all the lines. I mean, as fun as it was to stagger around the stage, speak loudly (I always speak loudly, I'm Mexican for goodness sakes), accidentally step on Victor's toe and swish around bearing a bottle of ale (Diet Snapple peach tea, my fav drink right now besides water and Shirley temples and virgin pina coladas) and be in front of my incredibly judgemental of every move I make- I practically jumped offstage.
I mean, I like being on stage... i used to... a lot more... IDK, I just kind of think... i was good in freshman year... I used to be more talented... I don't know.
SO I'm reading The Burn Journals... very sad book... it's the one that Kat was late for that one time! LoL
Anywho... I really want to write... but meh...
Cal Poly starts tomorrow.... I really don't want to go.
Hope everyone had a great weekend and does the earth hour and watches/watched MIDNIGHT BAYOU!!! (freaking awesome movie!!)
love,
-Bee!
PS. everyone made a huge deal about this whole thing with these people I used to know, they posted an "apology" to everyone via my space, bullet-pointing specific people; Me being one of them. He even put "even though you probably don't care" It was so hilarious when I finally read it today- people were making a huge deal about it- I couldn't stop laughing, because I really, really don't.
I'm really different. At least, I really hope I am.
(That was a good 'waugh' not a bad 'waugh' just to be crystal clear, loves.)
So this past week was a good one. And by good I mean that it went by fast. But good things happened, too... Yesterday Nina and I went to the beach, that's the beauty of California; you work on your tan while the rest of the world cries about the cold and their tears freeze upon their cheeks.
Oh, we did Macbeth, just a little chunk in front of the class with a lil chunk of people. I was the Porter, aka a drunken buffoon. The only thing was, since we had eight characters to play and only five people, we had to edit some characters out entirely and, somehow, my group made it so that I said most of the lines of the terminated characters. Of course, I still had to play a staggering drunk.
It was interesting. But i don't think Mrs. Edwards was very happy with it.
See, I've got this loud, overbearing personality, and people tend to get the impression that I'm a drama queen, which I totally can be. I exaggerate and love being the center of attention once a day. But people also think that means that i take things uber seriously and IDK, touch my hand to my forehead and faint when there's no cake at home or something.
Half the time I just don't care that much.
But i got the distinct impression that MRS EDWARDS got the distinct impression (Did I mention that Mrs. WDWARDS is my HERO?) that I purposely made it so that I got all the lines. I mean, as fun as it was to stagger around the stage, speak loudly (I always speak loudly, I'm Mexican for goodness sakes), accidentally step on Victor's toe and swish around bearing a bottle of ale (Diet Snapple peach tea, my fav drink right now besides water and Shirley temples and virgin pina coladas) and be in front of my incredibly judgemental of every move I make- I practically jumped offstage.
I mean, I like being on stage... i used to... a lot more... IDK, I just kind of think... i was good in freshman year... I used to be more talented... I don't know.
SO I'm reading The Burn Journals... very sad book... it's the one that Kat was late for that one time! LoL
Anywho... I really want to write... but meh...
Cal Poly starts tomorrow.... I really don't want to go.
Hope everyone had a great weekend and does the earth hour and watches/watched MIDNIGHT BAYOU!!! (freaking awesome movie!!)
love,
-Bee!
PS. everyone made a huge deal about this whole thing with these people I used to know, they posted an "apology" to everyone via my space, bullet-pointing specific people; Me being one of them. He even put "even though you probably don't care" It was so hilarious when I finally read it today- people were making a huge deal about it- I couldn't stop laughing, because I really, really don't.
I'm really different. At least, I really hope I am.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Ender and Nightmares
Hey guys.
I read Ender's Game finally... it was sad. and really good. I called Kat to thank her/yell at her for making me read it. I feel so bad for Ender. I want to go into Card's world and just save Ender and tell everyone how stupid they are. Wah.
But yeah. I haven't really been in a people mood today, not in a bad mood just in a .... in a sort of scared bunny rabbit mood. I stayed up until one in the morning to finish it (Kat gave it to me on Thursday morning). The only problem was that I was so tired, I was forcing myself to stay awake.
And then I had this awful nightmare, so scary it was... it was tangible.
But i saw a friend of mine in it, and someone mentioned her father and she was freaking out in the dream... or something. SO I texted her right now... it turns out she's been having trouble with her father...
Being psychic would be cool/ inconvenient.
Oh, yesterday, I was really happy because during Journalism everyone had to work because almost no one met deadline (not why I was happy, I'm not a sadist, LoL) but everyone was asking me for help and I was like, really productive, but only unofficially. Then Like fifteen minutes before class was over, someone told Mrs. Edwards that the dance team has been forbidden to practice where they usually practice. So she was like:
"Oh, Bianca can right that."
So then she kept in her classroom for two blocks (the second block was during this football game between the senior girls and junior girls, which, secretly, I was glad to miss) and then Buddy Bump (so cool) can to visit and we chatted and he taught me how to use semicolons and it was just Mrs. Edward, Buddy, Amira and myself for like, over an hour :D
It was really nice :)
And then Chris kept calling me and she was like 'Where are you?" but Mrs. Edwards was helping me fix my article and she yells in the phone
"She's with me, Amira and Bump, she BASKING in our coolness!!!"
LoL
I so was. ;p
So yeah, I'm not in a bad mood or anything... I just feel like... I don't know, my dreams are almost always either nonsensically awesome or inexplicably horrible. [Like, once I had a dream I was Indiana Jones' son, I also had a dream that I was being tortured and that particular dream seemed to last from the moment i shut my eyes to the moment I opened them. Once I had a dream I was sexually attacked and once I ad a dream that I drove to London in the Bat mobile... you get my point, here?] And every time I have a really awful dream, I feel like I have to recuperate the whole day. I'm all tired and scared and i can't shake 'em.
And God forbid someone else should be involved because then I can't rest until I talk to them/ see them...
People laugh at me when stuff like that happens, mostly.
Although, when I tried to make sure my friend was okay, she didn't mind so much :) So that's cool. ;p
Anywho.... I was rereading my NaNoWriMo novel, Love You? I Don't Even Like You! A Hate Story. And I really like it- I'm super excited to have Kate read it :)
And I'm anxious to get Infected published.... I need to get Isabel off my mind, she's starting to become slightly naggy! LoL
Anywho, I forgot how much I loved Jer and Iz today, when I was rereading a little word doodle I did on their son, Gabe. Gabe's all disgusted by them and i'm just like awwww You guys are soooo cute! I miss writing cute. All my characters are either hateful (Misha), half-angry (Cram and William :) or unable to touch (Avalon and Mikey) I miss writing the semi-normal relationships... as normal as something I could write might get, anyway. LoL.
So yeah... My mom's doing this in-home follow up interview thing with a potential coworker right now... He's MASSIVE! He's like... so huge... like a mutant... guy named Jesse... LoL freaking tall. He seems nice, though... but his hands are really soft... boy's probably never done any physical labor in his life... my hands are more callused than his and I'm probably ten years younger than he is. ;p
How much can you tell from a simple handshake?
haha
Well, I feel a little less freaked, now... from my dream, I mean. But today every turn seemed like the potential for my nightmare to come true. My mom had me go to this party with my uncle Joe's family and I was terrified. LoL And then I couldn't find a corner to hide in and I was going to EXPLODE! LoL
Anywho, thanks for reading.
Love,
-Bee!
Ps. Orson Scott Card is a total genius... LoL I want to play in the battle room! <3
BATTLE ROYALE!!!
Oh, hey: http://freewebs.com/thebratprincess3/index.htm
I read Ender's Game finally... it was sad. and really good. I called Kat to thank her/yell at her for making me read it. I feel so bad for Ender. I want to go into Card's world and just save Ender and tell everyone how stupid they are. Wah.
But yeah. I haven't really been in a people mood today, not in a bad mood just in a .... in a sort of scared bunny rabbit mood. I stayed up until one in the morning to finish it (Kat gave it to me on Thursday morning). The only problem was that I was so tired, I was forcing myself to stay awake.
And then I had this awful nightmare, so scary it was... it was tangible.
But i saw a friend of mine in it, and someone mentioned her father and she was freaking out in the dream... or something. SO I texted her right now... it turns out she's been having trouble with her father...
Being psychic would be cool/ inconvenient.
Oh, yesterday, I was really happy because during Journalism everyone had to work because almost no one met deadline (not why I was happy, I'm not a sadist, LoL) but everyone was asking me for help and I was like, really productive, but only unofficially. Then Like fifteen minutes before class was over, someone told Mrs. Edwards that the dance team has been forbidden to practice where they usually practice. So she was like:
"Oh, Bianca can right that."
So then she kept in her classroom for two blocks (the second block was during this football game between the senior girls and junior girls, which, secretly, I was glad to miss) and then Buddy Bump (so cool) can to visit and we chatted and he taught me how to use semicolons and it was just Mrs. Edward, Buddy, Amira and myself for like, over an hour :D
It was really nice :)
And then Chris kept calling me and she was like 'Where are you?" but Mrs. Edwards was helping me fix my article and she yells in the phone
"She's with me, Amira and Bump, she BASKING in our coolness!!!"
LoL
I so was. ;p
So yeah, I'm not in a bad mood or anything... I just feel like... I don't know, my dreams are almost always either nonsensically awesome or inexplicably horrible. [Like, once I had a dream I was Indiana Jones' son, I also had a dream that I was being tortured and that particular dream seemed to last from the moment i shut my eyes to the moment I opened them. Once I had a dream I was sexually attacked and once I ad a dream that I drove to London in the Bat mobile... you get my point, here?] And every time I have a really awful dream, I feel like I have to recuperate the whole day. I'm all tired and scared and i can't shake 'em.
And God forbid someone else should be involved because then I can't rest until I talk to them/ see them...
People laugh at me when stuff like that happens, mostly.
Although, when I tried to make sure my friend was okay, she didn't mind so much :) So that's cool. ;p
Anywho.... I was rereading my NaNoWriMo novel, Love You? I Don't Even Like You! A Hate Story. And I really like it- I'm super excited to have Kate read it :)
And I'm anxious to get Infected published.... I need to get Isabel off my mind, she's starting to become slightly naggy! LoL
Anywho, I forgot how much I loved Jer and Iz today, when I was rereading a little word doodle I did on their son, Gabe. Gabe's all disgusted by them and i'm just like awwww You guys are soooo cute! I miss writing cute. All my characters are either hateful (Misha), half-angry (Cram and William :) or unable to touch (Avalon and Mikey) I miss writing the semi-normal relationships... as normal as something I could write might get, anyway. LoL.
So yeah... My mom's doing this in-home follow up interview thing with a potential coworker right now... He's MASSIVE! He's like... so huge... like a mutant... guy named Jesse... LoL freaking tall. He seems nice, though... but his hands are really soft... boy's probably never done any physical labor in his life... my hands are more callused than his and I'm probably ten years younger than he is. ;p
How much can you tell from a simple handshake?
haha
Well, I feel a little less freaked, now... from my dream, I mean. But today every turn seemed like the potential for my nightmare to come true. My mom had me go to this party with my uncle Joe's family and I was terrified. LoL And then I couldn't find a corner to hide in and I was going to EXPLODE! LoL
Anywho, thanks for reading.
Love,
-Bee!
Ps. Orson Scott Card is a total genius... LoL I want to play in the battle room! <3
BATTLE ROYALE!!!
Oh, hey: http://freewebs.com/thebratprincess3/index.htm
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Dandy
Hey Babes.
;p
So, for once, I'm not a totally depressed emo kid while blogging... and now I understand that stereotype. LoL I'm actually in a good mood.
Today was gender bender day for spirit week at my kooky-crazy-awesome school. I never like gender bender day... and then I was watching my favorite fall out boy music video (like, the only good one ;p tthe one with VAMPIRES) and I was like
"I CAN BE A DANDY!!!!"
Dandy: an effeminate, vain or foppish, well-dressed man.
Which is basically me with a sock in my pants (but I didn't wear a sock in my pants, don't worry).
SO I wore a top hat and the white shirt, the vest, the blazer, the white gloves, the black pants, boy shoes (they had heels, though) AND a cane.
The sad thing was- I only had to buy the white gloves.
... and it was only because I lost my original pair of white gloves! LoL
So I've been super tired allllll day.... oH!
I HAD A DREAM!
ABOUT BRENDAN URIE!!!!
LOL!
Here's how it went:
Me: (Behind some kind of concert center where Panic was)
*Spots Brendan Urie, ignoring the rest of the band, including Ryan Beautiful Ross.*
OH MY GOD YOU'RE BRENDAN URIE!!!!!
Christina: Meh.... *looks around for something more interesting to do*
Brendan Freaking Beautiful Man Urie: Hey
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh! *freaks out*
Christina: *sigh*
Brendan Delicious Urie: Sup?
OH MY GOSH
Freaking awesome two second long dream. SO realistic, i think. :)
So yeah....
In-N-Out.... yum
MAMA! Love that song...
Now I just have to dream about Gerard and Will Becket.... oh, I want to dream about CRAM!!!!
Or, like, Jeremy or somebody... haha
Anywho...
Mrs. Edwards liked my outfit (I'll post pics soon) so that's cool...
I'm kind of confused in the writing area... but I'll do something eventually...
Oh... The whole Yale thing- Update-
*How Bianca feels*
It's making me nervous, if I don't get a scholarship I'll never be able to go, I'm going to look like an idiot hippie surrounded by a crap load of democratic geniuses, We can't afford it, I have to share a room, People don't like me that much, I hate people, I'm going to have to BE AROUND people, there's a graduation and I'll trip when they call my name or blank out like when I graduated from Eighth grade, I'm too weird to be left alone with people my own age, I don't speak teenager, only adult or some weird made-up language that people can only glean a few words from every so often, I'm going to miss Harry Potter, If I don't go then I might as well shoot myself now because i'm just a weenie and I'll never amount to anything, I'm going to have to be working constantly which it okay with me but only God knows, I'm not going to bring Nala and I haven't even told her yet (LoL, seriously!), I won't be aloud to sing loudly or even play music loudly, EVERYTHING is scheduled, I blank out too much to be on my own, right?, I just blank out A LOT, people are going to think I'm stupid because I have to ask whats going on all the time because if I'm not talking or doodling or something I just go on standby like a computer... Yeah.
These are my worries/woes/concerns.
Also, totally separate from this, I don't know what the heck to turn in for Writing Workshop!!! AHHH! I have a week to pull brilliance out of my ass!
Annnnnnd.....
I don't care... I just want to bask in the sun :)
Thanks for reading.
love,
-Bee!
ps. I was such a cute boy today! I was a real gentlemen! LoL! Omg like two people broke my cane today! Ahhhh! LoL
;p
So, for once, I'm not a totally depressed emo kid while blogging... and now I understand that stereotype. LoL I'm actually in a good mood.
Today was gender bender day for spirit week at my kooky-crazy-awesome school. I never like gender bender day... and then I was watching my favorite fall out boy music video (like, the only good one ;p tthe one with VAMPIRES) and I was like
"I CAN BE A DANDY!!!!"
Dandy: an effeminate, vain or foppish, well-dressed man.
Which is basically me with a sock in my pants (but I didn't wear a sock in my pants, don't worry).
SO I wore a top hat and the white shirt, the vest, the blazer, the white gloves, the black pants, boy shoes (they had heels, though) AND a cane.
The sad thing was- I only had to buy the white gloves.
... and it was only because I lost my original pair of white gloves! LoL
So I've been super tired allllll day.... oH!
I HAD A DREAM!
ABOUT BRENDAN URIE!!!!
LOL!
Here's how it went:
Me: (Behind some kind of concert center where Panic was)
*Spots Brendan Urie, ignoring the rest of the band, including Ryan Beautiful Ross.*
OH MY GOD YOU'RE BRENDAN URIE!!!!!
Christina: Meh.... *looks around for something more interesting to do*
Brendan Freaking Beautiful Man Urie: Hey
Me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh! *freaks out*
Christina: *sigh*
Brendan Delicious Urie: Sup?
OH MY GOSH
Freaking awesome two second long dream. SO realistic, i think. :)
So yeah....
In-N-Out.... yum
MAMA! Love that song...
Now I just have to dream about Gerard and Will Becket.... oh, I want to dream about CRAM!!!!
Or, like, Jeremy or somebody... haha
Anywho...
Mrs. Edwards liked my outfit (I'll post pics soon) so that's cool...
I'm kind of confused in the writing area... but I'll do something eventually...
Oh... The whole Yale thing- Update-
*How Bianca feels*
It's making me nervous, if I don't get a scholarship I'll never be able to go, I'm going to look like an idiot hippie surrounded by a crap load of democratic geniuses, We can't afford it, I have to share a room, People don't like me that much, I hate people, I'm going to have to BE AROUND people, there's a graduation and I'll trip when they call my name or blank out like when I graduated from Eighth grade, I'm too weird to be left alone with people my own age, I don't speak teenager, only adult or some weird made-up language that people can only glean a few words from every so often, I'm going to miss Harry Potter, If I don't go then I might as well shoot myself now because i'm just a weenie and I'll never amount to anything, I'm going to have to be working constantly which it okay with me but only God knows, I'm not going to bring Nala and I haven't even told her yet (LoL, seriously!), I won't be aloud to sing loudly or even play music loudly, EVERYTHING is scheduled, I blank out too much to be on my own, right?, I just blank out A LOT, people are going to think I'm stupid because I have to ask whats going on all the time because if I'm not talking or doodling or something I just go on standby like a computer... Yeah.
These are my worries/woes/concerns.
Also, totally separate from this, I don't know what the heck to turn in for Writing Workshop!!! AHHH! I have a week to pull brilliance out of my ass!
Annnnnnd.....
I don't care... I just want to bask in the sun :)
Thanks for reading.
love,
-Bee!
ps. I was such a cute boy today! I was a real gentlemen! LoL! Omg like two people broke my cane today! Ahhhh! LoL
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Turnabout
So...
Today was.... a really quick turnabout....
Twenty-four hours ago I was epic fail ( Minor dramatization, we're stretching the twenty-four...) and then I got the whole Yale thing... which was pretty darn cool, I must say...
And then I went to Journalism, like, la de da...
And Amira, the Editor/Chief was absent. SO Mrs. Edwards told me that Amira recommended ME for the job. And Edwards put in Hillary as my co-operator person, because, apparently, she has organization and I have creativity...
So I'm not a good leader. I've never been one. I assume that I'll never be one...
But now... I never thought about being second in command to Edwards, but now it's sounding more and more like a really great dream... You know? LoL
When I voiced this opinion to her, she compared me to Macbeth. When I relayed this comparison to Christina, she replied;
"Doesn't Macbeth die at the end?"
* * *
So I drew this fan art today, for Dan Water's Generation Dead, it's sort of Karen DeSonne, my favorite character of the WHOLE BOOK!
(It's at the top o' the blog...)
And then I put on my blond wig and drew on a mole because... I wanted to know if blonds have more fun? LoL. I took lots of pictures... now I kind of want to die my hair blond... I just wish I was a metamorphangi, I would be able to keep up with me SO much better. :)
Anywho, don't wanna sleep..
grr... my image won't go un-upside down... stupid! Oh well, you know what it looks like, just crane your neck or use a mirror or something. LoL
wait, lemmie try one more time...
Gah. Didn't work. And made my comp spaz. So happy that Blogger saves your posts <3
Gonna go... IDK now. LoL
love,
-Bee!
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